Pinecones fell,
like falling leaves,
The Birds-
they made a sound.
Crunch.
Blue Jay flew to the branch above me.
I hear too much.
Too observant.
He was seeing too much.
He tilted his head to the left.
Examining-
I tilted mine too.
You and I,
we see too much.
I turned to face the trash bin.
Branches rustled behind me,
I turned back.
He had left,
He was flying away.
He had left me here,
The Coward.
I turned around,
my hands latched onto the dull, brown, trash bin.
Tiny hands
Too cold.
I looked down,
white knuckles.
Too frail.
I yanked on the bin,
And placed it behind me.
Leaves, crunchy leaves-
Tiny bird.
I looked down at the tiny bird.
Too frail.
I bent down.
Too cold.
She would not move.
Move.
As if I could will it.
Do something damnit.
Anything.
Breathe.
Breathe.
I crouched down,
extended my hand.
She jumped away.
Fly.
Yes,
please Fly.
But she only got two feet.
In her place I saw red.
Too much. I see too much.
Oh God the blood.
So red. I saw too much.
I was not supposed to be there.
I took a step back,
to close my eyes.
Leave.
Just go away.
Pinecones fell,
like falling leaves,
They made a sound.
Crunch
I looked back at the tiny bird,
she was breathing too fast.
I saw it again.
Blood.
On her head.
On her beautiful head.
It was her brain.
Oh God,
It was her brain.
Protruding out,
sagging against the concrete.
I took a step back,
closed my eyes.
Too much.
I always see too much.
Do something damnit.
Anything.
Anything.
I opened my eyes again.
The Day was too lovely.
She was breathing too fast.
Too much blood.
This was not fair.,
I was not supposed to be here.
Feathers fanned out,
left and right.
Too frail.
She was breathing too fast.
Her face lay against the concrete.
The image spitting on me.
I could not walk away.
I could not pretend that I did not see her.
Protruding out,
Too crisp-
I could not
I uncurled my fists,
palms up.
They did not seem so tiny anymore.
I bent down one last time.
Too much. I see too much.
I picked up a garden tile.
Heavy.
Too much. I see too much.
I lifted it above my head.
Heavy.
Too much. I always see too much.
Her face lay against the concrete.
The image spitting on me.
Her breathing was too fast.
Feathers fanned out,
left and right.
She was breathing too fast.
Unethical.
Memorizing-
Pine cones fell.
Memorizing her form.
Like falling leaves.
She was breathing too fast-
My heart beat too loudly.
They made a sound.